Chapter 11:12 When Reality Hits

Half over. One more blink and I will be packing up, and saying goodbye to the places and people who have become dearer than life to me. I will be driving home, probably crying my eyes out, all mad and grieved that life can't stay happy and safe. I'll probably pout at home for a while, rant about how much I hate the country and how much I miss my city. Eventually I'll get over reverse culture shock and settle down again. So why put myself through that then? Not gonna beat around the cherry tree.  God's doing some pretty cool stuff here.

Brooklyn, NY 

Last week was rough. There was so much happening at home and other places that was stealing so much brain space. I was exhausted. This week I look back and I'm just in awe at how much the city has changed me. Or maybe it isn't in fact the city. Maybe this is something much more. God is showing me his heart for his people. His people beyond just me and my world. His big plan. His plan for the world. His plan to bring all nations to himself. I'm here, soaking in every word, trying to get to know the Bethany that is emerging from it. When I came here I knew I wasn't going to be the same girl going home. And how thankful I am for a God who answers prayers. New York City is so much more than I ever dreamed. Yes, it's the people, smells, places, and sights that every one said it would be. But no one can tell you how it feels to look into the eyes of hundreds of lost souls every single day, and see and feel their pain. No one tells you about how the state of lostness wrecks your core. No one tells you about the difficulties in relating to a team of people you never met before, while dealing with your own set of very definite problems. No one talks about how hard it is to trust them with the messed up side of you that you can't hide anymore. It's awkward when you cry during debriefing because someone you met on outreach touched a soft spot. It's awkward when you get up for breakfast and you really want to bite everyone that says "good-morning" to you. How is it good, Sir, when it's morning and the coffee is bitter?
Before you judge me for being harsh and judgmental, I'll answer my own question. It's good because God is. It's good because as I walk down the street to class, there are at least10 people I see that I can pray for. It's good because when I get to class Brenden or Danessa will be making coffee that isn't bitter. It's a good morning because each day is a gift, and we were given one more gift to make the most of. It's a good morning simply because Jesus is alive, and we are more than conquerors through Him. And that's exactly what I learned. I learned that God is good. 

I'm sorry if  you are disapointed. God is good because even in this suffering and pain and sin of this world, He hasn't left us helpless. He hasn't left us comfortless. God is good because He gave us the gift of the Holy Spirit, and through His power we have the tools we need to literally go out and save the world. How amazing is that? God is so good because even though he is God Himself, and busy with so many other world disasters, he cares enough to answer little prayers and desires. He doesn't just hear, he listens. And he answers. God is good because he answers prayers. There have been countless little things that He answered, and made better than I ever imagined. God is good, simply because he is good. His everything, His being, everything about Him is nothing but pure, honest, raw, goodness. And the craziest part, is that He loved us so much, he saw fit to give us a part in His crazy awesome plan for the world. In fact, He wanted it so badly, He sent his only Son, his perfect Son, non the less, and sat and watched while all the debotchery and grossness and stupidity of the awful sinful human race was put on Him. Why? Guys, this wrecks me everytime. I can't write it without tears. He did it because God LOVED us. He loved us while we were yet sinners. While we were still wretched filthy little sinners. And he looked at us and said, "I could redeem them. I could glorify my name and bring all men to myself if my power worked through them." So he did it. And now we sit here, thanking God almighty that we are guaranteed a ticket into heaven, thanking him for blessing us with every spiritual and physical blessing, and building empires for our families and steeples for our churches. We thank God for our freedom, and pray for deliverance for the persecuted church. Friends. That's not what the Bible says. the Bible says that if you love Jesus, the world will hate you and spitefully use  you. Church, Jesus didn't die so we can have padded comfortable lives! He didn't go through that kind of suffering just so we can sit on our pews on Sunday morning and sing songs about when we all get to heaven. The fact is the majority of our world will not get to heaven. There are still over 7,000 unreached people groups. That might sound like a lot, until you hear how many evangelical churches there are in comparison. For every 1 unreached people group, there are 1,200 churches worldwide. Of course those are not God's figures, those are only estimated human numbers. But my question to you is this, Do you really believe, with all you heart, that he is Good? And if so, what are you doing to proclaim his goodness to the world? Is the  life you're living worth the suffering, pain, torture, and separation Jesus endured on our behalf?

What has NYC taught me? How has it changed me? It can be simply answered like this. Reality Hit, God is Good, and I need to do something about it. Which brings me to confess that I lied at the beginning of this post. I said I will eventually settle down... God forbid that I get comfortable and settle into a routine of living in this world as if it were my home. I won't settle. There is too great a task remaining to live normally. (That is a paraphrase from a quote by someone else whom I cannot remember.)




Disclaimer: the facts and stats in this blog are not my own research. They were done by educated and competent authors from the book "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement."
Disclaimer No. 2 - the photos are borrowed from other talented fellow LTO'ers
I promise most of this post is original with me.
Alrightyroo.