Terms and Conditions Apply


"If you want to continue, please read and accept the terms and conditions below." 
What if pain came with terms and conditions? What if we got little notifications saying "warning, pain ahead. Please read terms and conditions before proceeding." Would you click "accept"? I wouldn't. It would be so much nicer to always be ok. To never have a reason to cry myself to sleep at night. Wouldn't everything be easier and better if we had the option to simply avoid it? Of course. I think we'd all agree. 
I think we also agree that it's just not how the world works. The curse changed that forever. Pain enters our worlds with very little ceremony. It doesn't announce itself, and usually doesn't give us the opportunity to accept or reject the terms and conditions. Or does it? 
 I've often asked God to take me deeper and grow me for His glory. Several times adding "do what ever it takes." When we ask God to work in our hearts, we are basically saying "I accept what ever conditions apply." 
I don't have to make a case for it, we all know hard things grow us. We all know, to some degree or another, what it is to go through things that hurt like mad but in the end make us stronger. Kinder. More sensitive to others. There are hundreds of little examples and stories of the things that need to be broken to be useful. Seeds must die in order to grow. Silver and gold must be put through intense fire to be pure. Diamonds and pearls have to undergo some intense pressure and discomfort before they become anything of value. 
So. Pain isn't a waste of time. Hard times aren't as big of a disaster as you'd think. That can be our conclusion of the matter can't it?
Why, then, does it hurt so much? 
Why does it have such long lasting effects?
Why am I still dealing with the broken pieces of the things that happened so many years ago? 
I've spent many a night asking God these things. I know I gave him permission to do what it takes to get this heart beating in time with His. I know I'm becoming. I know it's a process.
But that doesn't mean it's not hard. And when I mean hard, I don't mean petty little inconveniences that wound our pride and are resolved in a few days. I'm talking about pain that demolishes your core. Pain that forever alters your course in life. Pain that numbs you until you aren't sure you will ever feel again. The stuff that makes you cry years later. 
Thats the stuff that changes you. That's the stuff that makes you come to grips with what you believe about God and the world and forces you to make a decision. And that, friends, is the kind of pain that God uses for His glory. That's the stuff he looks at with hope. I've seen some of you walk through this kind of pain. I know some of you are in the middle of it now. I've watched you face the day with a brave and courageous heart. I've seen you smile even when your heart is fractured and bleeding. I've seen you chose Life over and over. I've seen the way it's changed you. The way you bloom now. The way your face shines. Most of all I see Jesus in you. I'm not here to glorify your efforts; it's not until we come to the very end of our determination, self protection, and self sufficiency that God can begin to do that work in us. Sometimes the options of "around" and "over" are not available. Sometimes, even though it's the worst thing that ever happened, it was the only way to get you to where you are today. I'm here to glorify the God that takes the hardest and the darkest times and uses it for something far greater than one story. Yes, it is true that sometimes our pain is a result of actions done against us that we have zero control over. 
God can still use it. 
Sometimes our pain is a consequence of sin, and we are simply reaping what we've sown. 
God can still use it.
Sometimes pain is in the physical form of sickness and diseases.  
God can still use it. 
It is not a lost cause. It's not without purpose. When given with a broken heart to the Almighty Healer, things happen you never thought possible. I am living proof of this. 
I've ended on a little bit of a different note than the one I started with. My writing does that. I guess I've just been coming to terms with pain that lasts longer than you'd like it to. Reckoning with the fact that sometimes a wound scabs over but still bleeds when the scab is taken off. Learning that it's ok if the process takes a while. Even if it takes years. 
God is using it. 
Trust, Child. <3







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