The Dress


It started with a dream. A dream I had three years ago. I remember that dream like it was last night. But I’ve always avoided it. Until today. This moment. Right now. What you do in the here and now, that is what counts. That is what matters. It’s the seeds you sow today that determine tomorrow. It’s the fear you face today that brings healing tomorrow. 

In my dream, I was dressed in white. I remember the details of that dress better than I remember the details of what I had for lunch. I remember how happy I was. I remember how healed I felt. How peaceful I felt. I felt like I was made whole, like I had never been hurt or used. I remember how loved I felt in my dream. It was like I had finally reached a place of perfect peace, in my Heavenly Father’s arms. I remember that I was with my dad, and we were healed. Our relationship I mean. I remember how protected and safe I felt. Back when I was 15, this left a very deep impression on me. I remember crying for hours, asking God to please let that dream become a reality. One day, a few months later I was shopping. Sifting through clothes racks, I stopped and just stared for a while. There, hanging in front of me, brand new, for $18 whole dollars, was The Dress. I stared at it for a while, knowing I had seen it somewhere. I remembered my dream, and bought it on the spot. But it hung in my closet, I was too afraid to wear it. It hung there, like a silent promise of better days and times ahead. Of healing that would happen. Honestly I was scared of wearing that dress, it was so exactly like the one in my dream, everything down to sleeve length and lace pattern. It felt wrong to wear it in public. It was so white. Graduation came and I needed a dress. I made myself wear it, telling myself to get over it. All evening I felt people watching me. Who wears a white dress for grad? After that night It promptly got shoved to the back of my closet. Wearing it was too hard. What’s so hard about wearing a white dress? I mean, it’s literally no different than any other dress. I know. And I really don’t know why it was so hard, except that to me, that dress represented a different me. A me that I hadn’t become yet. I would put it on, take a deep breathe, but never make it past the front door. 
Until this morning. Something made me take it out of my closet and put it on. Some reason I felt like today was the day. So I wore it. It was hard. Who wears a white dress to church? But somehow I didn’t care today. It was my promise, being fulfilled before my eyes. I thought of the past few weeks and the healing God brought to my heart. I thought of how me and my dad have become a team, working together instead of butting heads. I thought of how real Jesus has become to me the past little bit, how he’s taken me deeper, and taken me through hard things, but never once did he let go of my hand. 


You see? It’s today that matters. It’s the hard thing you do today, that counts. Not what you will do, or what you aspire to do. Not what you will be, or what you aspire to be. But who you are today. What you do today. Maybe the hard thing is forgiving someone who wronged you. Maybe the hardest thing is surrendering someone or something to the will of Jesus. Maybe the hardest thing is something as stupid as wearing a white dress. But what it is isn’t the point. The point is will you do it? Will you face your fear. Face the hard thing. Face it head on and deal. Jesus will find you. He will wipe your tears. He will heal you. That’s his promise to you. You don’t have to fight and claw your way to Him. He is reaching down to you, all you have to do is reach up, and take his hand. 

I know I’ve been honest about my journey. I shared things that were hard to say. But I didn’t share this for you to go away from here shaking your head, glad that I worked thru my issues and can wear a white dress. I shared this to inspire you to go out there, and be real. Face your fears and struggles. Dig into Gods word. Stay up all night and pray. Do what it takes to reach up, and grab ahold of God’s hand. And then never let go. It’s the safest place you’ll ever be. And by changing you, you will begin to change others lives. And thru that, our church, our communities, and eventually the whole world will know that healing is possible. It starts today. Right here. Right now. Where will you start? 

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