The Loneliness: Part 1
I have no excuses for not writing sooner, except for the fact that I'm so busy these days I don't even have time to sleep all night. That being put aside, I've been thinking on high for the past several weeks, about something you all asked me write about. And to be honest, I've been procrastinating because I don't have answers. Only questions. This will become more of a series I think, because it is impossible to put it all into one post. This is just the raw truth, I don't know what to do about this epidemic that seems to be sweeping all over the world.
The loneliness inside you. Inside me. Where does it come from? Why do I feel so alone when I have many friends and people around me all the time? Is this my fault? Am I trying to find my security in people instead of in Christ? Why are we living our own secret lives, and no one, not even our "close" friends, know the real stuff that goes on inside? These are all questions you have asked me, and questions I've pondered and prayed about these last few weeks. Or maybe months. And yet, I don't have answers. Maybe it's because I too, am one of those lonely people who feels like I am surrounded by people all the time, and yet, I feel very alone. According to some research I've done, approximately 7 out 10 people feel alone in a crowd, not because they don't have friends, but because even though they have 500 Instagram followers, there is no one to go to when they need support. Guys, I know you, I know that you know each other. I'm not talking about people in some distant province or country. I'm referring to us as friends, communities, churches, and friend groups. Seven out of Ten people. Is that an epidemic?
We were created to have relationships. We were created to talk to each other, encourage each other, help each other. We crave that. We were created to connect. It's in our DNA. So when we find ourselves lacking those deep genuine relationships, something inside us is being starved. We feel lonely. We might have friends all over, we might have a huge church, but if we don't have those deep soul connections, it's useless.
But some of us have been hurt. We have been let down, used, and burned by people who used our vulnerability to destroy us. To open up, and begin those relationships again would only open old scars and make a mess.
Or would it.
Maybe we need to be brave. Someone once asked me, "If God would call you to go further, and do more than all your peers are doing, would you do it?" Would you be willing to be the odd ball that is willing to fight for genuine. For real. Would you be willing to get rid of social media so you had more time to look into the faces of lonely people and minister to them. Because all we are doing right now is burying our faces behind our screens and perfect Insta feeds so no one sees the mess we're in. And so we don't accidentally stumble across a soul who needs some care. It's not just the world that is slowly dying, it is OUR world. It is YOUR world. Your friends and family. It's the happy people with the cute laugh and awesome sense of humor. I promise you, they are some of the loneliest people in the world. Because no one ever expects them to have bad days, they are always happy. So no one tries to make sure they are okay.
I am writing to those of you who came to me, with beautiful honesty. I am writing to you, I see you. I get it. I understand. This is why I write, so people know they aren't alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know all caps is a little aggressive, but it's the truth. The past few months many people have been brave enough to share with me, and I am blown away by how many people are going through life, happy-go-lucky, with no one to go to when the going is rough. No one to give them a hug and tell them God's got it. And yet we all have friends everywhere. When ever there is a lake day, a volleyball game, a box cruise, those are the jolly nights when we laugh and jam to our favorite tunes. But what happens when we go home, and you feel a little hollow inside. And it's dark, and you are alone. And when the going gets rough and there's deep issues in the heart (Don't kid yourself, every single soul out there has those days) there is no one, to whom you can confide and ask for prayer. Because soon as relationships start to get deeper we freak and run. Deep down, you know why. Somewhere, somehow, we've missed something. We've missed the real reason we were created. To have and hold a deep relationship with our Savior. Something is lacking. Something has gone wrong.
My brain has drained. I have no more words
tonight.
Goodnight.
The loneliness inside you. Inside me. Where does it come from? Why do I feel so alone when I have many friends and people around me all the time? Is this my fault? Am I trying to find my security in people instead of in Christ? Why are we living our own secret lives, and no one, not even our "close" friends, know the real stuff that goes on inside? These are all questions you have asked me, and questions I've pondered and prayed about these last few weeks. Or maybe months. And yet, I don't have answers. Maybe it's because I too, am one of those lonely people who feels like I am surrounded by people all the time, and yet, I feel very alone. According to some research I've done, approximately 7 out 10 people feel alone in a crowd, not because they don't have friends, but because even though they have 500 Instagram followers, there is no one to go to when they need support. Guys, I know you, I know that you know each other. I'm not talking about people in some distant province or country. I'm referring to us as friends, communities, churches, and friend groups. Seven out of Ten people. Is that an epidemic?
But some of us have been hurt. We have been let down, used, and burned by people who used our vulnerability to destroy us. To open up, and begin those relationships again would only open old scars and make a mess.
Or would it.
Maybe we need to be brave. Someone once asked me, "If God would call you to go further, and do more than all your peers are doing, would you do it?" Would you be willing to be the odd ball that is willing to fight for genuine. For real. Would you be willing to get rid of social media so you had more time to look into the faces of lonely people and minister to them. Because all we are doing right now is burying our faces behind our screens and perfect Insta feeds so no one sees the mess we're in. And so we don't accidentally stumble across a soul who needs some care. It's not just the world that is slowly dying, it is OUR world. It is YOUR world. Your friends and family. It's the happy people with the cute laugh and awesome sense of humor. I promise you, they are some of the loneliest people in the world. Because no one ever expects them to have bad days, they are always happy. So no one tries to make sure they are okay.
I am writing to those of you who came to me, with beautiful honesty. I am writing to you, I see you. I get it. I understand. This is why I write, so people know they aren't alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I know all caps is a little aggressive, but it's the truth. The past few months many people have been brave enough to share with me, and I am blown away by how many people are going through life, happy-go-lucky, with no one to go to when the going is rough. No one to give them a hug and tell them God's got it. And yet we all have friends everywhere. When ever there is a lake day, a volleyball game, a box cruise, those are the jolly nights when we laugh and jam to our favorite tunes. But what happens when we go home, and you feel a little hollow inside. And it's dark, and you are alone. And when the going gets rough and there's deep issues in the heart (Don't kid yourself, every single soul out there has those days) there is no one, to whom you can confide and ask for prayer. Because soon as relationships start to get deeper we freak and run. Deep down, you know why. Somewhere, somehow, we've missed something. We've missed the real reason we were created. To have and hold a deep relationship with our Savior. Something is lacking. Something has gone wrong.My brain has drained. I have no more words
tonight.
Goodnight.
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